


If Tomorrow Never Comes

by fantasyflower



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bokuaka - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Haikyuu - Freeform, Homophobia, M/M, Memory Loss, Physical Abuse, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28448109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantasyflower/pseuds/fantasyflower
Summary: Akaashi really wasn’t over Bokuto. Even after all these years, his heart still yearned to be with the beautiful golden-eyed boy who could light the world with his smile. He wanted to tear his heart out of chest, it hurt so fucking much. If only Akaashi had taken the pill all those years ago, he wouldn’t have to remember what it felt like to be loved by Bokuto, he wouldn’t have to remember what it felt like to be happy in love.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	If Tomorrow Never Comes

A sad broken-hearted man created what he called the “Anti-heartbreak” pill. It erased all the memories of your last relationship taking effect almost immediately...pretty convenient cure for a broken heart, but oh how Akaashi wished it never existed.

__________________________

  
  


He was fourteen, his face flushed red. His heart thumping so loudly he was afraid Bokuto would hear.

“Akaashi, I really really like you.” Bokuto looked into Akaashi’s eyes, making Akaashi turn even redder.

“I like you too, Bokuto.” Akaashi whispered. Bokuto’s golden eyes widened with shock and confusion. Bokuto inched closer, Akaashi could feel his hot breath spreading across his neck. 

“No-no...Akaashi, I don’t mean like a friend or anything. I mean...yeah you’re my best friend, but Akaashi I mean-” Akaashi stopped Bokuto’s sentence with a soft and timid kiss. 

“I said I like you too.” 

__________________________

  
  


He was sixteen, snuggled into Bokuto’s arms, lying under the twinkling stars. He looked into Bokuto’s eyes, _he’s my world._

“What is it, Keiji?” Bokuto asked, grinning. 

“Nothing, just thinking about how much I love you.” Bokuto smiled even bigger and placed a soft kiss on Akaashi’s forehead. 

“I wish we could stay like this forever.”

“Me too.” 

“Akaashi! Look!” Bokuto said, pointing at the sea of stars. “A shooting star, make a wish.” Akaashi smiled to himself. _I wish tomorrow would never come_. 

“Hey, hey, hey! Akaashi! Akaashi, what’d you wish for?” Bokuto asked excitedly, his eyes lighting up, brighter than any star in the sky.

Akaashi smirked. “Not telling.”

“Hey! Come on,” He said, giving Akaashi puppy eyes. Akaashi giggled and shook his head, giving Bokuto a peck on the cheek. Bokuto looked at Akaashi with adoration in his eyes. “I wished that you would always be happy.” Bokuto smiled proudly. Akaashi felt tears in his eyes. _Stupid Kotaro, don’t waste your wish on me_. He buried his face into Bokuto’s chest. “Now tell me your wish, Akaashi.” Bokuto’s voice softened. “If I could, I would give everything to you. So let me grant your wish, okay?” 

__________________________

  
  


He was seventeen, holding hands with Bokuto under the table, across from them, their parents. 

“What the fuck? I didn’t raise a gay son.” Bokuto’s father said.

“Dad...please. I love him,” Bokuto said, squeezing Akaashi’s hand. 

“This is unacceptable. I can’t accept this. We….We need to separate them or something,” Akaashi’s mother chimed in. Akaashi held his head down, trying his hardest not to cry.

“Mom,” he whispered. “Please.” 

Akaashi’s father refused to look at him. _I’m still me_ , he thought. _I’m no different from the son you always knew, why…._

“I know what to do! Oh my god I’m brilliant,” Bokuto’s mother said. She left the room and returned after a few minutes. She placed two heart-shaped pills on the table. “Anti-Heartbreak!” 

Akaashi stared at Bokuto, tears stinging his eyes. _No, no, no_ , _please.._. Bokuto looked back at Akaashi with fear in his eyes. Akaashi wished, he prayed, this was all just a big joke. That he could still be with Bokuto, that they could still love each other. 

“Mom!” Boktuo shouted. “We...we are _not_ taking that. Why can’t you just accept us?!” She scoffed, yanking Bokuto’s hand from Akaashi. _Please let me hold his hand a little longer,_ he thought. Akaashi felt so helpless. He just sat there, hot tears spilling from his eyes. He wanted to be strong like Bokuto, to show a little more resistance, but deep down inside, he knew that this was probably best for Bokuto. He didn’t want to take away Bokuto’s chance at having a family, he didn’t want to be the reason Bokuto’s parents shun him, he didn’t want to be the reason for Bokuto’s unhappiness. 

“Here Akaashi,” his mother said, handing him the pill. He slowly reached out and took it. He could see Bokuto’s face dropping from the corner of his eye and it hurt him so bad. _Don’t make that face, Bo._ Bokuto turned away and let out a sob. _I’d rather break your heart this one last time than a million more._

Bokuto’s mother grabbed the pill and shoved it down Bokuto’s throat. She told him over and over again to swallow and did a thorough check of his mouth before she was satisfied. _That was it. Bo won’t ever remember me. He won’t ever love me again._ Akaashi stood frozen, tears spilling from his face. Bokuto reached out to him, but his mother dragged him away to another room. 

“Akaashi, it’s your turn.” Akaashi nodded. He placed the pill in his mouth, letting it rest on his tongue. _At least let me have these memories, let me remember the boy who once loved me_. Akaashi pushed the pill under his tongue and opened his mouth.

“I’d like to be alone now,” he said quickly, sprinting out the door. He ran and ran with that stupid pill his mouth, running until he couldn’t breathe, running until he collapsed from exhaustion. He came upon a lake, a frequent date spot of theirs. Tears threatened to fall again. He spit the pill into his hand and threw it into the lake. He was so angry with the world, with his parents, and mostly at himself. 

_Tomorrow Bo won’t remember me anymore. Tomorrow….please tomorrow never come._

  
  


__________________________

  
  


“Mom, how come we’re moving?” Akaashi asked the following morning.

“My workplace is relocating.” But Akaashi knew the real reason. _Was loving Bokuto really that bad?_

Akaashi made his way to his room and began packing his things. He noticed all the little things that were missing. The things he was sure his parents had thrown out while he was sleeping.

The jar he kept of notes Boktuo had written him was gone. All the scribbled _I love you’s_ would never be seen again. 

The globe that Boktuo gave him on his fifteen birthday was missing. Akaashi remembered that moment so clearly. “I wanted to give you the world Akaashi, since you’re my world.” Akaashi smiled bitterly at the memory that would never be remembered by Bokuto ever again. 

  
  


__________________________

  
  


He was twenty-three, sitting alone in his tiny apartment, trying his best not to cry. His boyfriend stormed out after beating him. Akaashi didn’t think he would get that mad just because he was out a bit later than usual. He was just trying to make some extra money since their one year anniversary was coming up. 

Akaashi was used to rough lovers, although his current boyfriend, Kai, was probably the worst. But he still loved Akaashi and Akaashi loved him. It was fine since they loved each other. This was the longest relationship Akaashi had….besides his time with Bokuto. But that was a long time ago, and that could never happen again. Akaashi was fine now, since he had Kai. 

Akaashi stared at himself in the mirror. _Fuck. I’ll have to wear makeup to work tomorrow._ Akaashi rubbed his cheek and went to go look for some ice. He heard a knock on the door and froze in place. _Did Kai...come back? Shit shit shit. I hope he’s calmed down._ Akaashi slowly walked towards the door and reached to open it. 

Out of all people, Akaashi was not expecting to see Bokuto. His smile was still as bright as ever. 

“...Bokuto?” Bokuto looked confused for a bit, but after a few seconds his eyes lit up.

“Akaashi? Is that you? I haven’t seen you in forever!” Bokuto paused. “You’re still as pretty as I remembered but...what happened to your face?” Bokuto reached out a hand, but Akaashi backed away. _What was going on? Why was Bokuto here? And he thinks I’m pretty. Shit, fuck...no. Don’t delude yourself._

“Uhhh...it’s...it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. What are you doing here Bokuto?”

“I just moved into the next apartment! Which reminds me, I came here to ask if you had any extra blankets since some of my stuff still hasn’t arrived here yet and it’s kinda late right now.” Bokuto had his puppy dog eyes that Akaashi was so weak to. “It’s totally fine if you don’t though.” Bokuto paused for a second, thinking, then his face lit up. “Oh my god! That reminds me. Wait here.” Bokuto ran off into the apartment next door.

 _What the fuck._ _Why….why is he back. I don’t think I’m strong enough to face him._ Akaashi felt his heart ache, it hurt so much, even more than the wounds on his face and body. It’s been years, but it still hurt so fucking much. Akaashi plastered on a smile as he saw Bokuto excitedly running back.

“I have something that I think belongs to you,” Bokuto said with a smile, and pulling out a box. “It was in my room back at our old neighborhood.” Akaashi bursted out laughing and Bokuto went red. “Hey, why are you laughing at me?” Bokuto whined. Akaashi was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. It’s been a while since he genuinely laughed.

“It’s just that...it’s so like you to keep something from five years ago that belongs to a dude you barely knew.” Bokuto went even redder.

“It was just in case we ever met again! Since it seemed important.” _It really was like Bo to keep that_ , Akaashi thought. Bokuto handed Akaashi the box.

“I’ll go get the blankets.”

  
  


__________________________

  
  


It’s been a week since Bokuto moved in. Akaashi has been avoiding him because his heart really couldn’t take it. Besides, he had Kai now. Kai was his lover. 

“What’s this ugly ass box here for? Is this for me? That’s fucking annoying. I don’t like shit like that.” Kai sat on the couch looking at the box Bokuto had given Akaashi. 

“No, it’s not. It’s just something from my childhood I guess.” 

“Throw it out, it’s fucking ugly.”

“I will.” 

“And come here, it’s annoying if I just come here to watch a movie.” Akasshi obediently made his way towards Kai and sat on his lap. “Good boy.”

Once Kai left, Akaashi really thought about just throwing the box away. But Bokuto did say it was important. He opened the box and was surprised to find a simple black ring inside…. _this isn’t mine_ . Akaashi had never seen the ring before. He picked it up to look at it closer. Engraved on the inside of the ring said “ _I’ll love you until tomorrow comes, Akaashi”_

 _FUCK_. Akaashi really wasn’t over Bokuto. Even after all these years, his heart still yearned to be with the beautiful golden-eyed boy who could light the world with his smile. He wanted to tear his heart out of chest, it hurt so fucking much. If only Akaashi had taken the pill all those years ago, he wouldn’t have to remember what it felt like to be loved by Bokuto, he wouldn’t have to remember what it felt like to be happy in love. 

“Make it stop, make it fucking stop. It hurts so much. I miss him.” 

“Akaashi,” Bokuto said, standing in the doorway. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Bo...how did you get in here….why are you here?”

“Akaashi...I can hear you crying from my room and you left the door unlocked. I don’t think you should be here by yourself.” Bokuto went over to him slowly and gave him a hug. He missed being in Bokuto’s arms. “Akaashi, I’m not one to say anything….but….if your boyfriend is hitting you, you should just leave him. Don’t miss someone who hurts you.” Akaashi broke into sobs. _Stupid Kotaro. It’s not him I miss...it’s you_. Bokuto wrapped his arms tighter around Akaashi. 

_I miss him. I miss being with him. I miss seeing him smile. I miss everything about him._

“God damn, why didn’t you pick up your phone bitch?” Akaashi turned to see Kai. Bokuto held onto Akaashi a little tighter. Kai smirked as he glared at the two of them. “Oh, I see what’s going on here. I was worried because I knew you would fucking forget to lock the door, but you’re fucking cheating on me with some ugly ass bastard?” Kai rubbed his knuckles and walked towards them. Akaashi pushed Boktuo away and prayed he wouldn’t get hurt. 

“No, Kai. It’s not-”

“Yeah,” Bokuto said, cutting Akaashi off. “I’m his boyfriend. Please leave.” Bokuto stood in front of Akaashi, and he knew Bokuto did it to protect him, but it made him feel so weak, just like all those years ago, he was never putting up a fight. 

“You fucking bastard,” Kai said, swinging his arm. Akaashi’s body moved by itself, his face stung and the imprint of Kai's fist slowly reddened. “Akaashi….why did you get in the way. Why are you protecting this fucker? You know I love you and I hate hurting you.”

“Stop...JUST FUCKING STOP! Get out, _please_. I love him, not you. It’s always been him. I’m sorry.”

Kai stormed out, in tears and it was the most emotion Akaashi had ever seen from Kai, other than anger. As he watched Kai leave, he barely noticed the crying Bokuto beside him.

“Bokuto...why are you crying?”

“Why did you say that?” Akaashi was confused and panicked as he thought Bokuto must be grossed out by what he said.

“I’m sorry I know I’m disgusting. You can leave if you want. Thank you for helping me out.” Bokuto shook his head, crying harder as he wrapped Akaashi in a hug. 

“I missed you so much. I love you. Please remember me,” Bokuto said. Akaashi pulled back, confused and looked at Bokuto.

“Huh?”

“You won’t remember, but we used to be lovers,” Bokuto said softly.

“Bokuto...why do _you_ remember? I’m confused. I never swallowed the pill, but you...I saw you…Bo...how could I ever stop loving you?”

  
  


\- - - - - - -

Bokuto didn’t care how or what happened in the past, but he was happy Akaashi was in his arms again and he pulled Akaashi in for a sweet and soft kiss. He really did love him so much.

Years ago, after his mother forced him to swallow the pill, he probably threw up five or six times. He kept shoving his fingers down his throat in hopes of throwing up the pill. 

_It’s okay. It hurts now, but it’ll be okay if I can still have the memories of my most precious person._ Bokuto couldn’t remember what had happened after that because he woke up in a hospital from too much fluid loss. But when he woke up, he still had his memories of Akaashi and that was all that mattered. As soon as he got out of the hospital, he really did try to look for Akaashi, but he and his family were gone without a trace. No one would tell him where they went, and he lost all contact with Akaashi. Now that Akaashi was in his arms again, he would never let him go. Not today, not tomorrow, not even in an eternity.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! Thank you for reading. Sorry it's a mess again T-T I really haven't written creatively in so long. I'm trying to improve my writing and hopefully post longer and muchhhh better works. Thank you again for reading <3


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